I carried my laptop all the way to Spain for 7hrs and 20 mins flight with a very simple hope to see him online. Suddenly when i was on borad, chatting with the crew and found out that we got free internet in the hotel room. You will never know how i was so happy. Because, all my life streams are just to be the serious relationship with him.
I love talking, chatting, seeing him all the time. I could do that without sleeping or eating. For me, sleeping and eating are not that much important than seeing him. I love him that much.
I've been operating several flights through my 3 years flying experience with Qatar, without sleeping or eating at all, for sometime. I did very long haul flights without resting because of him. Sometimes, i was so headache like now, i couldn't even sit or open my eyes, but i was still chatting and talking with him in front of the computer. You will be surprised how Hero I am. But wanna know what's the result? Pain.. All the pain inside..
I didn't choose the way to sleep when i reach hotel even i was so tired like crazy. The first thing i did when i reach room was opening my laptop and leaving him the message that i was online. Then, i started removing my make up and showering. Even i was in the toilet, my mobile was beside me messaging him to come online.
I was so happy when i saw the mozeswin account was online. I was so excited and ready to chat. He asked me to wait for 15 mins and i was waiting without any complain. We had a lovely conversation for sometime. After that, one of our fris was online in vzo and it became disaster.
I felt bad again and started feeling tiring of it because it happened the same thing yesterday night.I wished that he could learn something from that. But finally, not. All my feelings lead me to the loneliness stage even he was online. I couldn't stand at all and i decided to sleep because he didn't care that much about me at that time and he enjoyed talking with him without me. He forgot that i came back from 7hr20mins flight without sleeping. He forgot that i was waiting for him online just to see him and i carried my laptop only for him. He forgot how much i was tired.
And now, i wake up after few hrs sleeping, and all my minds and hearts drive me to go online because of him. I expect something from him. But,last but not least, he didn't leave any single message to me. Showing that he doesn't care me at all. You will know how i will feel.
Lord, please teach me how to live without him.Lord, please give me the energy to stand without seeing him. I know myself that i love him so much than anything.I already surrender and loose everything for loving him. All my thoughts are just with him every seconds that my heart beats. i was thinking about him and dying to see him always. I know that he loves me too. But i still get all the pain and sadness from him time to time.
Can u read it? Haha.. I don't think so.. it's spanish words that i saw in the hotel room.. Just for memory!!!!
Can you read something from this drawing? Something meangingful to you? It's just interesting!!
I was half happy and half sad for this chatting......
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